Amar Bail

A plant of eternity

Archive for the ‘Adopted’ Category

Being with your Mother

Posted by Haris Gulzar on January 17, 2011

I copied the following from the shared items of a friend. This is worth reading…
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.
She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would Love to spend some time with you.”


The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my Mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
“What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked.
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
“I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.”
She thought about it for a moment and then said, “I would like that very much.”
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up, I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s.
“I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son and they were impressed,” she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.”
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half-way through the entrees, I lifted my eyes and saw Mother sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
“It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said.
“Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded.
During the dinner , we had an agreeable conversation nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.”
I agreed.
“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home.
“Very nice, much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her.
Sometime later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place Mother and I had dined. An attached note said:
“I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.”
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: ‘I love YOU’ and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.
Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till some “other” time.

Posted in Adopted | 19 Comments »

Innocent times…

Posted by Haris Gulzar on July 8, 2009

I want to go back to the time when “getting high” meant “on a swing”, when “drinking” meant “apple juice”, when “dad” was the only “hero”, when “love” was “mom’s hug”, when “dad’s shoulder” was “the highest place on earth”, when your “worst enemies” were “your siblings”, when the only thing that could “hurt” were “skinned knees”, when the only things “broken” were your “toys”, and when “goodbyes” only meant “till tomorrow”…!!!

Posted in Adopted, English | Tagged: , | 7 Comments »

Love Defined…

Posted by Haris Gulzar on April 21, 2009

I copied the following pictures from a friend’s album. Couldnt resist posting them on my blog as well. It is really amazing to see how children think and observe, how they remember and apply things when asked, how they relate love to what they observed and what they experienced. Probably a good piece of learning for all of us as well.


Posted in Adopted, English | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

کچھ لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

Posted by Haris Gulzar on March 17, 2009

The following is copied from here

کچھ  لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

سوچتا  ہوں ، کیا  لکھوں ؟


پھولوں  کی وہ  مہکتی  خوشبو

بارش  کا وہ  بھیگا  پانی

اور  ہوا میں تھی جو روانی

کیا  اس موسم کا خمار لکھوں ؟


کچھ  لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

سوچتا  ہوں ، کیا  لکھوں ؟


تھی  چہرے  پہ اُن کے معصومیت

آنکھوں  میں تھی  تھوڑی  شرارت

اور  باتوں میں  وہ  نزاکت

کیا  ان کا رنگیں مزاج  لکھوں ؟


کچھ  لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

سوچتا  ہوں ، کیا  لکھوں ؟


انکا  آ کر  مسکرانا ۔ ۔ ۔

جو  روٹھ  جاوْں  تو منانا

جاتے  جاتے  پھر رلانا

کیا  انکا  یہ  انداز  لکھوں ؟


کچھ  لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

سوچتا  ہوں ، کیا  لکھوں ؟


یادوں  میں ان کی اشک بہانا

ہر  شام اک  دیا جلانا

سو ئی  امید کو روز جگانا

کیا  ان کا یہ انتظار لکھوں ؟


کچھ  لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

سوچتا  ہوں ، کیا لکھوں ؟

Posted in Adopted, Urdu | 2 Comments »

It doesn’t Interest Me

Posted by Haris Gulzar on March 9, 2009

I copied the following post from here. Found it really good, hence posting it on my blog as well.


It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Poet- Really no idea but its not mine. Jott it down long time ago.


Posted in Adopted, English | Tagged: | 5 Comments »

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

Posted by Haris Gulzar on March 1, 2009

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things–your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions –and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.”

“The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.”

“The sand is everything else–the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.”

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first–the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.” 

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.”

“It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Posted in Adopted, English | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »