Amar Bail

A plant of eternity

Archive for December, 2010

Those who matter – 4

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 26, 2010

13th of February 2010. A meeting over lunch that lasted hardly ninety minutes, made the time to come, for me at least, so full of lessons, and hence full of life, that I feel blessed to have attended that get together. The post I wrote about that get together can be found HERE (and this also is one of my favorite posts). I met a friend after sixteen years, and I use the word friend here because we obviously stayed good friends after that meeting, but even on that day, we recalled each other so clearly that I have to say she was unconsciously a friend of mine for all these years.

She wore such a nicely done scarf, a burqa, and such an unforgettable and a positive smile that made her look so hopeful and full of life, even after what she had gone through. I couldn’t, by any means, tell if she was dying, although she did look ill and that was maybe because of the chemotherapy and the radiations she went through for two years. In fact I even thought she was now recovering, and whatever illness it was, had left her for good. That is what the impression that meeting with her left on me, until late summers…

She had a story to tell. A long story, that she witnessed in a short span of time. Well, it was probably short for everyone else, but I can feel how long it might have been for her. A story about life, a story about the changing faces of this world and the materialistic people living in it, a story about how one beautiful face that used to be the reason of love for someone, turned into the reason of hatred for that same person. A story about how the inner beauty of someone becomes so meaningless. And this story was exactly something that makes my life after that get together so full of lessons.

I once got a text from her that read “Have you ever cried by yourself? Late at night when no one is around, and you feel your soul tearing apart itself, as your tears felt with defeating sound?”. This, for me, says a lot…

Those ninety minutes is all I have as a memory of a great friend. A friend who taught me what life meant. A friend who taught me what hope was all about. A friend, who could so perfectly fake a smile, that I now realize how difficult it must have been for her at that time. A friend who loved her children just so much that she would even mention her children enjoying Ice-Cream. A friend, who probably became one of my best friends in those ninety minutes. A friend, who I’ve missed for the past one month, who I’m missing right now, and who I’ll miss for my life. Those ninety minutes was what made her matter for me…

HERE is a post about how she passed away. May her soul rest in peace. Ameen.


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The Story of Appreciation

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 13, 2010

I’m copying it from a friends note on Facebook; again 🙂

— One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way,from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score good grades.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "None."

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees." The director asked, "Where did your mother work?"The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner."The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"

The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly.His tear fell as he did that.It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth’s eyes, asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."

The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said,Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today.Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, "This is what I am looking for to be my manager."

I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company’s performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent’s efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

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The Dream – A Short Story

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 8, 2010

I’m copying the following from a friend’s note on Facebook. I found it totally worth sharing.

–Once upon a time there was a man in the jungle enjoying a nice day watching the equatorial lush green foliage and the exotic animal life. Suddenly, the man heard the movement of a lion behind him and so ran for his life. But the man couldn’t escape and came face to face with the lion. As he was thinking quickly of another way to escape, he saw a deep well to his right. His options were narrowed between drowning in the well and being chewed by the hungry lion.

The man decided to jump into the well hoisting himself with a rope tied to the top of the well for drawing water. As he reached the bottom of the well, the man saw a huge man-eating snake taking a nap at the bottom; the man pulled himself up in the middle of the well, suspended between a hungry lion on the top and a sleeping snake at the bottom.

Meanwhile the man noticed that two mice, one black and one white were chewing the rope he was hanging on, making it thinner and thinner. The man began to swing with the rope hitting the sides of the walls of the well periodically. Suddenly he felt something sticky on his shoulder, as he examined what it was, he found that it was honey. Upon looking around the well he noticed a bee colony on the wall of the well.

The man forgot the dangerous situation he was involved in and started licking the honey to his satisfaction. He suddenly remembered where he was and jumped out of bed. The man was dreaming all along. The man went to a Sheikh to interpret his dream. The Sheikh laughed and asked him: “You do not understand this dream?” The man replied “Yes sir, I do not.”

The Sheikh said “The lion that was chasing you is the Angel of Death. The well which housed the snake is your grave. The rope in the well that you were hanging on is your lifetime ticking away. The Rodents chewing your rope, the black and the white mice are the day and the night. The man asks “The honey, Sir, What is the honey?” The Sheikh replied “The honey is the life of this world and its temptations which made you forget that there was death behind you and a grave ahead of you. You end up in the grave while savoring the taste of the honey until you find yourself standing trial for your deeds in a Court of Law of the most Just kind.

The above narration was just intended to remind us that we are also busy licking the honey (lost in the temptations of this world) while our life time is ticking away. Some day (sooner or later) we will also face the angel of death and will be carried to our grave!

Say: “Verily, the death from which you flee will surely meet you, then you will be sent back to (Allah), the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen, and He will tell you what you used to do.” {Surat Al-Jumu`ah, Verse 8}

Think and Reflect.

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