Amar Bail

A plant of eternity

The two sides

Posted by Haris Gulzar on October 24, 2010

There are always the two sides to every action we do, or every decision we make. One is what our mind thinks should be done, and the other is what our heart asks us to do. The two paths our mind and heart wants us to choose may not always differ, but they may not always be the same either. More often than not, the paths differ when it is about another person related to you, when you want to save a relationship, when you want to trust and compromise, and when you want to explain your point or be explained by the other person…

We are humans. Mind vs Heart We make mistakes and we know that we cannot be perfect. Still, we expect others to be perfect, we expect perfect love, we expect perfect trust, perfect friendship, 100% possession and what not, and we demand for explanations if the other person doesn’t come up to our expectations. This behavior I think is natural, and this is where the two sides come into play. Expectations is what our heart has. Perfectness is what our heart desires, loving and being loved is to do with heart. Trusting a person involves the heart of the person who is putting his trust into another person. These concepts are all abstract and only understood by a heart. They probably don’t have anything logical in them. You might still trust someone even after being betrayed. You might still love someone even after being hurt. You might still care for someone even if you don’t get care in return. Seems absurd, but I’d say this is natural. Against this, your mind might think to take revenge, to hurt the person who hurt you, or to leave alone the person who doesn’t care for you. Our heart lives in a perfect world where there is nothing logical, whereas our mind puts logic in our decisions.

A few days back I wrote a post titled Explanations and got different comments on that post. Different point of views I must say, for those comments open to us the different ways of thinking people engage themselves in. One of the comments I got to that post said that people even lose their friendship and don’t listen and make stupid assumptions based on something told by someone else. I just can’t agree more to this comment, for the reason to this behavior, I think, is the conflict between heart and mind. Your heart doesn’t expect that person to do what you heard was done by the other person, but your mind wants to take revenge and puts those stupid assumptions before you. You want explanations from that person, something your mind desires, whereas the other person expects you to understand without any explanations, something that the heart desires.

My friend Ali Adnan wrote a post titled Perfect Trust in reply to my post. This post, I think sort of answers the points put forward by him. My friend says perfectness is not meant for this world, whereas I’d say, perfectness IS meant for this world, its just that this world itself has two sides to it, one where our mind lives, a world of logic that is, and one where our heart dwells, the world of perfectness…


7 Responses to “The two sides”

  1. Ali Adnan said

    لگدا اے کہ تُو ہُن لڑائی کرنا چاہندا ایں میرے نال!! ۔۔

  2. […] This cup of tea was served by: Amar Bail […]

  3. Intricate said

    Nice post. And yes you are right. When it comes to relationships there are almost always two roads. One where your heart wants to take you. And one where your mind wants to see you walking. But we should always take care that revenge is never a good option. Fight if you must with the person you want to save your relationship with. Get everything out so that you can close it and lock it somewhere they can’t come back from. Face the person and talk everything out with instead of giving up and acting like a coward. But also don’t let anyone else make the decision for you. Take the decision yourself. Heart or mind. Choose whichever side you want. But choose yourself. Don’t let someone else choose for you. Because someone else doesn’t know you as much as you know yourself and someone else doesn’t have the right to judge your relationships. Be brave enough to choose one of the two conflicting sides and then face the consequences.

    I hope I haven’t drifted away from the topic. 😐

  4. yes indeed 🙂

    reading you after ages but loving every word – so you 🙂

  5. Yasser said

    yah exactly, people get mad with out even understanding the (so called) freedom of speech even between friends. What’s my suggestion is, to keep in mind, that everyone is learning in this life, so if even someone is saying wrong thing, the other one should keep his calm, and you know what he/she will realize his mistake as time passes. We all are human and anyone can get glued to that second of madness or humor without even thinking, realizing that someone might feel mock on the passing phrase etc.

  6. reedssss said

    grt bro each n every word is describing the point clearly

  7. @Ali: LOL :-P. Meri ye majaal 😀

    @Intricate: No you haven’t, but I don’t think if we can totally be in control of ourselves. Obviously we shouldn’t let others decide for us but is that easy?

    @Diva: Thank you AD.

    @Yasser: True. And again I think thats where the conflict of mind and heart comes into play…

    @Reedssss: Thank you

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