Amar Bail

A plant of eternity


Posted by Haris Gulzar on October 14, 2010

I have always believed that trust is the basic component in a successful relationship. Where there is trust, there is understanding, and there is compromise. This trust takes away all chances of Explanations coming in at any point in time in a successful relationship. Obviously, this trust has to be practiced from both ends for the relationship to work out…

But is it practically possible to always trust and be trusted in return? There are times when a doubt in a person’s mind asks for some explanations. But does it mean that the trust is fading away? Or can this explanation be a means to strengthen the trust even more? I once read a quotation that went something like “Never explain, for those who understand don’t need it, and those who need it won’t understand anyway” by Elbert Hubbard. I sort of believed in this quotation. Why would you need to explain your point to someone you expect to understand things themselves? And if you don’t think they’ll understand, are they even important? If you expect them to understand you, they should be the one telling you that they know your point and you don’t need to explain it, and if it is you having to explain why you did whatever you did, you first need to think if the person you’re explaining your point to is even worth your explanation.

But now I think I have a changed perspective. Although I still don’t have any counter arguments for having understanding in a relationship, but I think there are times when a person should be given a second chance. A chance to explain his point and to prove himself innocent. Although, as I said above, having to prove your point and having to explain your situation puts a big dent in your existing relationship, but it can even prove to be a last resort to save a relationship. Not explaining and waiting for others to understand things themselves would probably put a bigger dent. Though one should try and avoid any situation where there are explanations required, but if need be, I think, one should not hesitate to put some trust back in the relationship and explain his/her point, for losing a relationship is a bigger loss than not having to explain…


14 Responses to “Explanations”

  1. […] This cup of tea was served by: Amar Bail […]

  2. Indeed its all about trust… you need to trust other person if you can’t “STAY THE HELL OUTTA THAT PERSONS LIFE”. Dude this is how ppl even lose their friendship, they just don’t listen and make stupid assumptions and ruin friendships coz someone else told you something and you didn’t bother to ask your friend.

    In relationship, it hurts but you can fix it coz their is a deep connection between two but in friendship when its gone its gone and one become just selfish and make new friends and only way he/she gets is just by avoiding his/her friends. (Friends can be boys, girls and boys & girls mix: any mix)

    I don’t have to disagree with you coz the bitter sweet is that you are absolutely right. But my question is “Can you change this non-sense?; if yes, how”. When we know that this the case then why we become the victims? kahair, for my understanding, 90% of the times girls are culprit coz of theory “boys goes after girls”, law of nature 😛

  3. use spell checker urself.. 😀

  4. but why to explain yourself ….cause if one doesn’t want to understand, he will never……..and sometime it happens that you keep on explaining yourself everytime and the relationship fades away in the fog……….

    relationship is the one, where you don’t need to explain….isn’t it??? 🙂

  5. @Farhan Shaheen: You’ve talked about several things here brother. I agree that it is the false assumptions that ruin a relationship, and thats where trust should come in. A person, before making any assumptions whatsoever, should know in his/her mind that the other person can not do anything wrong. But this doesn’t say anything about explaining your point or not. There should be trust, but had the person asked the other person after assuming things, the other person would have been explaining, and possibly to no use… So the question is, should there be explanations?

    @CaptureUniverse: It should be at a level where there is no explanation required, but if there is a point where you have to explain yourself, should you or should you not?

  6. @Haris,,,….it will be the last moment, either do or die situation where you need to explain yourself, otherwise GAME IS OVER…. 🙂

  7. […] 17, 2010 at 6:01 pm (My Daily Life) I wrote this post as a comment to this post by my friend Haris. But then I thought why not make it a post? What is it ? something like … […]

  8. Ali Adnan said

    read my comment here 🙂

  9. I replied on Ali’s Blog.

  10. anummunaf said

    its speechlesss 🙂

  11. […] Explanations […]

  12. @CU: Yes, maybe you’re right, and saving the game from getting over might be the only better option we have, for which we might have to explain…

    @Ali Adnan and @Farhan Shaheen: Read my post here 🙂

    @Anummunaf: Thank you 🙂

  13. […] few days back I wrote a post titled Explanations and got different comments on that post. Different point of views I must say, for those comments […]

  14. Zee said

    For me explanation = justifying your action. And when you reach such a point in your relationship. Better let go! Know why? ‘Cos then more explanations and more justifications is all thats gonna follow. Nothing else.

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