Amar Bail

A plant of eternity

Archive for December, 2009

The Final Week of 2009 Meme

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 30, 2009

I saw this post here and really wanted to answer the questions myself as well. The questions really attracted me. I am also copying the picture from where I saw the post, and I didn’t even ask for permission if I can copy the picture or not 🙂 (Only told the author that I’m copying the picture :-P)…

New Year

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

1) Missed a couple of my friends very very badly at times.

2) Started blogging :-).

3) Developed a passion of having my own library…

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I never made any resolutions. And lets see if I’ll make some for the coming year or not.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?

We have a bonfire and BBQ at our hostel. Besides I have lots of projects to submit, lots of assignments to complete and lots of course to prepare for the final exams…

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My grandfather did. I couldn’t even see him for the last time :-(. And I was really very close to him.

5. What countries did you visit?


6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

The list is just too long to be mentioned here 🙂

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Because this post is going public, I won’t mention that date and the reason here 🙂

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Developing a passion for writing I think…

9. What was your biggest failure?

1) I have really tried hard to control my anger but have failed badly

2) I realized very late that living in your past doesn’t lead you anywhere, and that whatever happens, life goes on…

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I have been ill several times. Constant Migrane and consistent Flu and sore throat…

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Didn’t do much shopping being a student, and can’t recall if I bought anything worth mentioning here

12. Where did most of your money go?

In my education and expenses related to it

13. What song will always remind you of 2009?

No specific song. Although I have liked many songs but I can’t associate any of them with this year.

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Be regular with my prayers

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Whine about what had already happened and living in my past

16. What was your favourite TV program?

I only watched TV in summers when I was at home, that too only twice or thrice a week, and no specific program, just whatever was playing…

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nope. In fact I think I love more people now than I did this time last year 🙂

18. What was the best book you read?

I have mostly been reading my course books, and OBVIOUSLY, none of them can be rated as best :-P.

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I have mostly listened to songs sung by those who were singers before 2009 as well :-), so no specific discoveries this year…

20. What was your favorite film of this year?

Many! And I can’t exactly recall if I watched some of those movies in early 2009 or late 2008. I have watched some excellent Indian as well as English movies this year…

21. What did you do on your birthday?

Spent time with ammi at my relatives as she was here in Karachi those days, and got the cards made by Muneeba and fell in love with those cards!!

22. What kept you sane?

My friends. No doubt about that…

23. Who did you miss?

I missed Muneeba the most, apart from summers obviously when I was at home. Missed my grandfather a lot after he died. I really wanted to talk to him in our specific way. And I missed a couple of my very close friends…

24. Who was the best new person you met?

I met many new people but no one has proven to be the best so far 😛

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:

As I said earlier as well, Life Goes On, and that living in past only ruins you more…

Posted in English | 15 Comments »

Formal Relationships

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 25, 2009

I have always believed that there are a few relationships that need to maintain a level of formality, for example, the relationship of teacher and a student. Whatever the level of closeness there may be between a teacher and a student, the teacher should be saluted/talked to with respect. The choice of words used should portray the respect, and the attitude and behavior with which the two talk should depict that they are in a student teacher relationship. Similarly, I have believed that there are some relationships where there should be no formality whatsoever. For example, the relationship between friends. And by friends I mean people who are really close to you. You can be frank with them, you can say whatever you want to, knowing that the other person understands you. You can use words with your friends that you might not want to use in front of other people and so on.

I recently had a discussion with one of my friends on this topic. We both agreed that a few relations require some formality, but what we disagreed on was that a few relations can survive with complete informality as well. His point of view was that there needs to be a certain level of formality in every relationship, may that relationship be friendship. You can be frank, you can be straight forward, you can talk in languages that only you understand, but the choice of words is what needs to have some formality, was what his point of view was.

I hate you. A simple sentence. Just three words. Something very straight forward, something very frank, but what these three words mean is not as frank as one would have liked. The receiver of this sentence would definitely want the use of some lighter words. Although I believe that in relationships where you can be frank and straightforward, you won’t face a situation where you need to use words like those used above. And if you really think these words are required, they must be said. That’s what the beauty of frankness is. But this example really made me think again if there needs to be a certain level of formality in each and every relationship or not.

The sorrys and thank yous, I totally agree, make your relationship stronger, but I say they only make weaker relationships stronger. There are a few relationships that cannot be made any stronger, and those relationships do not require the usage of these words. But does not using these words mean we’re weakening a stronger relationship? Saying sorry and thank you is not the point, its the intention with which you say it that matters. If you feel someone really did something for you for which he had to go out of his way, you can thank him, but if the relationship you’re in with that person calls for going out of the way if required, there doesn’t need to be any formality of using words that are only temporary. But again, does the choice of words matter in all relationships? Does being frank and straightforward also require choosing the use of words? What’s your say on this?

Posted in English | 11 Comments »

Lessons Learnt – Part 1

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 20, 2009

Life is a teacher. It teaches with examples. It makes you learn things by experiencing them first hand. And that is proven to be the best learning method. And above all, the lessons never end. Each day you get to learn either an old lesson through a new example, or a new lesson altogether. At times we try and make the message out of what we face, out of the examples that life makes us go through. Not always do we successfully decode the message, but at times we succeed as well. If we don’t, that’s when life has to come up with a totally new example for us. Here, I plan to write some of the lessons I have learnt so far, and I hope to continue this series as and when I get to experience more stuff from life…

Lesson 1: Make friends. Make trustworthy friends. Life is just too difficult to live without friends. Now there is a difference between a friend and an acquaintance. Or even better put, there is a difference between a best friend and a friend. A friend is someone you talk to, you hangout with, you share your things with, but a best friend is someone who you don’t necessarily talk to, but think of when you’re alone. A best friend is someone who you don’t have to hangout with, because he is always with you, may it be physically or otherwise. A best friend is someone you share your feelings with…

Lesson 2: Move on. Life never stops. What has happened in past has already happened. You cannot do anything about it. Although you can definitely learn a lot from your past, but you shouldn’t live in your past. As they say, “Cry as hard as you want to, but just make sure that when you stop crying, you will never cry again for the same reason”. Crying again and again on what you lost in past is no use. Your future definitely has many better things in store for you.

Lesson 3: Be a kid occasionally. In fact I’d say, be an adult only occasionally. Ever noticed how a kid finds his enjoyment? Kids start playing from virtually anything, may it be a colored wrapper or boxed packing of a toy. They’d turn the box up and down, find where to open the box from, try their best to do whatever it takes to open the box. And more often than not, they succeed in doing what they wanted to do. Even if they don’t, they just throw that box away and go for something else. They find a new enjoyment in no time. That’s how I think we should live. Try our best at something we want to do, put in the maximum effort, but if the results aren’t favorable, move on. Put your hands on something else. I think you have to let go of your maturity at times, and enjoy life just as kids do.

Lesson 4: First things first. We need to prioritize things. ALWAYS. Most of the times we fail at things because we didn’t know how important they are. Those electricity and telephone bills can always be paid tomorrow, but your family needs time first. Your parents need your time, your children need your time, your spouse needs your time. You’ll feel great yourself when you take out time to take your children to a park and run after them and let them win a race. You’ll feel great when your spouse is happy because of the time you give him/her, or when you take your parents to a trip to where they really wanted to be.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough – Mae West

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life; It goes on – Robert Frost

Posted in English | 23 Comments »

رِیت اس نگر کی ہے، اور جانے کب سے ہے

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 16, 2009

تتلیوں کے موسم میں نوچنا گلابوں کا
ریت اس نگر کی ہے اور جانے کب سے ہے
دیکھ کر پرندوں کو باندھنا نشانوں کا
ریت اس نگر کی ہے اور جانے کب سے ہے

تم ابھی نئے ہو نا اس لئے پریشاں ہو
آسماں کی جانب تم اس طرح سے مت دیکھو
آفتیں جب آنی ہوں ٹوٹنا ستاروں کا
ریِت اس نگر کی ہے اور جانے کب سے ہے

شہر کے یہ باشندے نفرتوں کو بو کر بھی
انتظار کرتے ہیں فصل ہو محبت کی
چھوڑ کر حقیقت کو ڈھونڈنا سرابوں کا
ریِت اس نگر کی ہے اور جانے کب سے ہے

اجنبی فزاوں میں اجنبی مسافر سے
اپنے ہر تعلق کو دائمی سمجھ لینا
اور جب بچھڑ جانا مانگنا دعاوں کا
ریت اس نگر کی ہے اور جانے کب سے ہے

خامشی میرا شیوہ گفتگو ہنر انکا
میری بےگناہی کو لوگ کیسے مانیں گے
بات بات پر جب مانگنا حوالوں کا
ریت اس نگر کی ہے اور جانے کب سے ہے

Posted in English | 6 Comments »

Small World

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 13, 2009

Yesterday, I met my 16 year old friend. We hadn’t seen each other all these 16 years, but yesterday when I saw him, it felt as if he hadn’t changed one single bit. That same face, that same height, those same face cuts, that same voice and style of talking. Actually it was him who recognized me first, but the moment I saw his face, I knew it was him. I felt so good yesterday. I proudly told people around me that I met my 16 year old friend.

He is a student at IBA, but because IBA has two campuses, the City Campus and the Main Campus, we didn’t get to meet each other. He is a student at the City Campus, and none of my classes coincide with his. It has been 1.5 years since I have been studying here and have also been going to the City campus for my evening courses, but never did I get any chance to see him. But there had to be a reason for us to meet. IBA had its convocation event yesterday, hence there were no classes held. Each year, the students form a convocation management team and work closely with the administration to make this event a success. Both that friend of mine and I were in this convocation management team, and because of this reason, he was present at the Main campus yesterday for the event. He approached me and said, “yaar aap Sunbeams main parhtay thay” (Did you take any classes at Sunbeams?). For your Information, Sunbeams Grammar School is the school I did my 3rd to 5th classes from. I saw him and was like, I have seen you somewhere. While he was nodding his head, I said “Ali??”…

It was great to see him. Just fantastic. We were a group of 4, and amazingly enough, I found the other two friends on facebook when I shifted to Karachi last year. It was 1994 when I shifted to Islamabad from Karachi, and Ali had left the school in 1993, but still we remembered how we used to call out names of people and who taught us which course and where our classes used to be etc. It really couldn’t have gotten any stranger and amazing than it did yesterday. This, no doubt, is a very small world…

Posted in English | 12 Comments »

7 Overrated things

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 11, 2009

I was tagged by Memoir of a Volatile Indian Girl for this post. Although I was tagged way back but I couldn’t work on this post for all this long. Sorry for the delay :-).

1) Facebook: I’d say, Facebook is so very highly overrated that it becomes a sin if one doesn’t have an account on facebook these days. All the updates about events, what’s happening around etc is supposed to be there on facebook and a person really feels outdated if he doesn’t sign in to facebook at least thrice a day. Besides, liking status messages and commenting on them has become part of life. If a person keeps a status message that he has a headache, at least 10 people like that status and many keep on commenting and advising till the day ends. In fact many a times a totally different conversation starts in comments. Someone would comment about the headache, the other person would ask the first commenter, hey where were you, didn’t see you for long, and there starts a totally different conversation…

2) Twitter: The same goes with Twitter. I really cant understand why people use twitter. Twitter is all about “What are you doing” and people feel so glad in telling what they’re doing every moment. When I was in Lahore in summers, I met my University friends and as soon as we sat, a friend took out his mobile and updated his twitter and facebook saying he is meeting his friends after a long time. Then he updated, we have ordered food, then we’re eating food… And what’s even worse is, each of his status updates were getting comments :-O…

3) Women Rights: I know I’m about to get a lot many comments on this point, but I seriously think women exaggerate when they talk about women rights. I agree that there are problems and there are many women who aren’t given their rights, but then, specially because of this exaggeration about women rights, there are women getting more rights than men :-). I’d only say that women should agree that there is a difference between men and women, and that they cannot be equal. I really don’t mean any offense here but seriously, there are a few women exaggerating this issue a lot…

4) Marriages: Ohh Marriages in Pakistan are so overrated :-(. People specifically ask for lots of time between engagement and wedding so that they can ‘prepare’ for their wedding. Lots and lots of dresses, specially for women, shoes, jewelry and what not. Then there are at least 7 functions for a wedding to complete :-S. This color day, that color day, mehendi, mayun, flana dimkana, and its like you need an entire week for one single wedding. And again, its all women behind this :-P.

5) Mobile phones: Every one so wants a new mobile phone every day, that’s because we see so many new models of mobile phones, having such compelling and appealing features that one just starts wanting that phone right away. A mobile phone should be simple, one that can send and receive calls, and can send and receive messages. Or may be a torch light or a radio as extra features :-P. What else does one need in a mobile phone :-D.

6) FarmVille: Although I have mentioned facebook being overrated, but that was specific to status updates. Whenever I sign in to facebook, more than 50% of the news feeds are about FarmVille. I guess its a game or something and you probably have to build farms and you suddenly find a lost sheep and a lonely duckling and you feed them and look after them and what not. Thats what most of the news feeds are about :-S. It really gets so irritating when all you find out when you sign in is what your friends have been finding in FarmVille…

7) Harry Potter: I guess its a novel :-P. In fact I think its a series of novels :-P. Probably a movie has also been produced based on the novel :-D. People go so mad about Harry Potter. I don’t know why. People talk about the characters of Harry Potter assuming you have seen the movies or at least have read the novels and you very well know all the characters. People would often quote the characters and would repeat what had been said in the movie. I mean, I agree it might be good but take a break…

The list can really go on. One important thing to note is that the points mentioned above are in no particular order. That is to say that Twitter is not less overrated than Facebook, otherwise I probably would have put FarmVille at the top :-P. The points are just mentioned as they came to my mind.

Everyone reading this is tagged…

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Protected: The first impression

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 10, 2009

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دو آنکھیں، اک خواب، اور میں۔ ۔ ۔

Posted by Haris Gulzar on December 8, 2009



کھڑکی، چاند، کتاب، اور میں

مدّت سے اک باب، اور میں

شب بھر کھیلیں آپس میں

دو آنکھیں، اک خواب، اور میں

موج اور کشتی ساحل پر

دریا میں گرداب، اور میں

شام، اداسی، خاموشی

کچھ کنکر، تالاب، اور میں

ہر شب پکڑے جاتے ہیں

گہری نیند، خواب، اور میں۔ ۔ ۔

Posted in English | 16 Comments »