Amar Bail

A plant of eternity

Archive for November, 2009

On and off

Posted by Haris Gulzar on November 18, 2009

I have my exams starting from tomorrow and I’m surfing internet and commenting on blogs and writing a post of my own… But I’m really looking forward to going back to Lahore for Eid after my exams are over Insha-Allah. Muneeba has been counting days for me to reach Lahore and she reminds me every day about the number of remaining days :-).

I don’t know why am I not feeling any tensed for the paper tomorrow :-(. It’s an open book exam which actually makes the exam even more difficult. You don’t study because its open book, but the questions OBVIOUSLY are not from the book. Besides its a marketing exam so I’m not really sure if studying or otherwise will make any difference :-P. Anyways, I need your prayers for my exams, and I guess I’d be off from the addictive world of blogging for about 10 days and be back from Lahore Insha-Allah, unless there is another paper for which I don’t feel like studying…

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Are we afraid of our own selves?

Posted by Haris Gulzar on November 16, 2009

I have always believed that media plays a vital role in changing our beliefs and making us accept things that we wouldn’t have accepted on our own. We start making our minds and believing at what is portrayed to us, and we don’t try to find out what the reality actually is. I say this because recently I observed a very strong influence of media on a person from general public (That’s obviously my personal opinion).

I have been travelling a lot on public transport and this incident also has to do with one of my trips on a public bus. It was around 10 in the morning, and the bus was only half full. A child, maybe a maximum of 10 years of age came to me and asked me if he could make a call (He probably saw my mobile in my shirt pocket). I didn’t have credit so I told him it wont be possible to make a call. He asked the person sitting next to me, and he also refused.

The child turned back and started going towards his seat when the person sitting next to me asked him where he was heading to, to which he replied that he was going to his Madrasah. The child was wearing Qurta Shalwar, and was wearing a white cap with no hair on his head. I’m not sure what triggered the next couple of questions from this person sitting next to me, but maybe it was the Madrasah and the appearance of this child that made him a bit cautious. He asked the child what was there in his bag. I hadn’t even noticed the child’s bag before this person asked this question. It was a big bag, larger than a school bag, but it was shaped like a school bag. It was more of a back pack. The way the bag was placed on the seat made it look very heavy (I don’t know if it really was heavy or not). The boy replied he had stuff related to Madrasah in his bag.

This person then turned to me and asked why would a Madrasah require a child of this age to bring in such a heavy bag? I didn’t answer him, but the child probably heard this man, opened his bag and drew out a few of his clothes from the bag and put them back in, and without saying anything, sat on his seat. This person was definitely trying to make sure this child wasn’t carrying anything that he should not be carrying. The interrogative style of this person made me a bit uncomfortable. I don’t know if his behavior was justified or not, but have we become afraid of our own children? Is this really being careful when you ask a child who is maximum 10 years old, questions such as what do you have in your bag? Is this “war on terror” making us afraid of our own selves? That child is from amongst us, but then why is he targeted at and asked questions that I am not asked? Is it because he was going to a Madrasah? Is it because of his appearance?

I discussed this with a friend and his point of view was that the person was very right in critically asking questions from that child, because what we are going through requires us to be careful. But I ask, are we really going through what we are made to believe we are going through? I really don’t know and I leave it to you to decide if the way that person reacted was correct or not?

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25 Random points about me

Posted by Haris Gulzar on November 14, 2009

Finally, here is the post that Huda tagged me for. I’m extremely sorry for delaying it this much. And I had reasons as well. First of all, I was busy. And this is no lame excuse I tell you :-). Secondly, whatever I have been writing about recently, didn’t require any thinking at all, I mean it was just about my observation or feelings, and I just translated them into words. But this post really required some thinking. And third, I’m not good at listing things :-(…

Ohh well, these three points above could very well have been random points about me :-P. And I say this because I don’t know where to start writing about myself. But anyways, here are the 25 random things about me.

  1. I like winters. I like the start of them, when it starts to get foggy and all dewy early in the morning.
  2. I love sight seeing. One of my dreams is to visit the northern areas of Pakistan, all of them. Although I have been to many places already but I’d love to go there again and stay there for a long time.
  3. I think I’m a bit adventurous. I want to go bungee jump and scuba dive and do all those weird things that parents usually ask their children to stay away from… 🙂
  4. I can’t live without food. Well, obviously no one can live without food, but my case is a bit different. I eat A LOT. I live to eat.
  5. I like reading but not too much. I mean, if I see a good title, or one that appeals me and sounds interesting or a must read, I’d want to buy it but I can never be sure if I’d really read it or not. But I do try my best to find some time out of my schedule to read.
  6. I like collecting books. All types of them, and in all forms. I once had a huge, HUGE collection of E-books related to software engineering. I still have some novels that I bought thinking that I’d read them, but I haven’t still read them :-(. I want to have a library of my own. A small one, but having great titles.
  7. I like writing. This is something I really like doing. But haven’t been getting time recently to write much.
  8. I like reading poetry. In fact, I love reading poetry. I had such a huge collection of poetry at the time I resigned from work but I lost it (that was one bad experience :-(). I still have a good collection but its not as good as the one I had. Or probably I had associations with that poetry collection.
  9. I like listening to slow songs and ghazals. Old classical Indian songs are my favorites.
  10. I like singing as well. I once tried to perform in front of a small gathering, for auditions for an event, but I failed badly :-P. But I still like singing.
  11. I don’t have too many friends. Or I should rather say, I don’t have too many close friends, but the ones I have are just too special. I love them, and I can’t even think about losing them.
  12. I love rasmalayi. I so love it. I love all sweet dishes like Shahi tukray, Kheer, Halwa, Falooda but rasmalayi is so special.
  13. I love rice. I can even eat rice thrice a day, seven days a week.
  14. I like doing sports. My favorite sports are Table Tennis, volleyball (that’s probably because of my height), badminton, and cricket.
  15. I don’t know swimming. And that’s something I have always wanted to learn. Most of my cousins know it, my brother, my dad, my uncles, everyone knows it, but I don’t :-(. I don’t even know how my brother learnt it but he did and I still don’t know how to swim. But I’ll learn swimming, this is something I really want to do…
  16. I have recently been very confused with what I want to do with my life. I think I want to study and get a PhD. Or maybe not. Or maybe not now but a little later. Or maybe I’d just let this idea go. Not sure really.
  17. I am really trying very hard to control my anger. This is something I don’t have control over, and something that really puts me in bad situations at times.
  18. I love kids. I love their observations and how they learn. I love the way they know how to play with things one could never imagine playing with. I just love kids.
  19. And amazingly enough, kids somehow love me too. Or at least I think they love me :-).
  20. I have a weak memory. And an even weaker short term memory :-(. Not that I forget things every 15 minutes, but still, it isn’t too good. And people close to me know this very well :-).
  21. I think I’m a bit sensitive as well. I can easily get hurt. Maybe that’s because I easily trust people. I believe in people and in what they say.
  22. Ohh and that makes it another point about me, I trust people very easily :-).
  23. I forgive people easily as well. I don’t know why, but I do. Maybe this is in attempt to get rid of my anger that I do it, but I do.
  24. I want to do something big in life. I want to be remembered. Maybe through my writings (maybe one day I’ll write something worth remembering :-)), or maybe through my nature, or I don’t know through what, but I want to be remembered.
  25. I want to learn different languages. Don’t want to be perfect at each language, but just want to be able to understand the basics… Currently I’m TRYING to learn sindhi :-).

Well, this didn’t take much time. Actually it did take time, as I had to go and take a class after I had only written the first 15 points. But at least, this didn’t require much thinking :-). Almost everyone I know is tagged. So it can’t be 25 tags but I’ll tag the following.

Electrifying Pakistan

Think Success

Writing For life

Floating Thoughts

Shifting Paradigms

Thank you Huda for tagging me for this post.

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Psychological Hideouts

Posted by Haris Gulzar on November 6, 2009

Since our childhood, we’ve needed someone to share our feelings with, to share our secrets with, to gossip with, to talk to, to just do anything we feel comfortable about doing and can’t do alone. For some people, that special person is their mother, for some it is their father, and for some it is their siblings. They would just come and share everything with their special person.

For children who just started going to school, they would come back home and say everything they faced to their special person, which mostly happens to be their mother, as she’s someone easily found at home. They would tell about what other students had for lunch, who they sat with in class today, what they studied in class etc. These are things these children really want out of them as soon as possible. They want someone to listen to them. They want someone to give them time. They want to be paid attention to. And this special person is the one who pays attention to them.

These children then grow older and make friends. Friends who not only sit together in class, but someone who they want to meet every day. Friends to enjoy their time with. To share things, the scope of which now has increased with time. The scope of their discussions now includes trusting each other with things only a few people know. They share their observations, their knowledge, and along with it, their secrets that they don’t want to stay only with themselves, but to be known by a few others as well. This is where the special person comes in for these grown ups. They find their psychological hideout in their special person.

A time comes when people share things with their parents as well as their friends. Their special person is not limited to one person, but a few of them. This is when the shift in special person is about to happen. You start sharing things more with your friends than with your parents. Its not that you don’t trust your parents anymore, but you naturally want to spend more time with your friends and want to share things with them. This I guess is natural. You spend more time away from home when you enter university, and the only time you spend at home is when you come for dinner and sleep.

But then, you experience things that you really want to share with people, but you don’t know who to share those things with. You have perfect and trust worthy friends who have been there for you whenever you have needed them to help you. You also have your parents who wait for you everyday to return from your university/work and they would most happily listen to what you have to say, but still you try finding someone else to share your feelings with. You have everyone to talk to, but still you feel as if you don’t have anyone to share things with. Your friends instantly feel that you’re not ok, and that there is something disturbing you, but you insist on being ok. Your parents try probing you about what’s wrong but you insist on everything being perfectly alright. What do you do in such a situation? Where do you find your psychological hideout in this case? Does it really happen at some point in time in your life?

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Ethics and Business

Posted by Haris Gulzar on November 2, 2009

A lot many times when deciding about something, we only consider aspects that favor us, and overlook many things deliberately. Or maybe not deliberately, but the we tend to think only in one direction, one that we want to happen, one that we have already made up our mind about. Sometimes we do realize other aspects to things as well but somehow we try and justify the reason we have for what we think.

Recently I have been involved in doing a research about opening up a breakfast house where one of the potential target market is those students who bunk their classes and look for places where friends could sit and have something to eat and pass time. I mean we have been thinking about ways to market this breakfast house to these students. This is to say that we have been thinking about how to promote bunking classes :-P. And because this is a big market, specially for a breakfast house, there are all justifications in this world to market our product to these students. Is it an issue relating ethics?

Even if we dont discuss marketing this place to the college and university students, places like these definitely attract the young generation itself. The word spreads quickly, and even without us marketing the breakfast house, it probably would be known at least in the surroundings. A place like a breakfast house is definitely a good idea but is it ethical if any such place attracts people to skip their classes and come to these places? Is there any solution to this problem (if it really is a problem)?

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