Posted by Haris Gulzar on November 18, 2009
I have my exams starting from tomorrow and I’m surfing internet and commenting on blogs and writing a post of my own… But I’m really looking forward to going back to Lahore for Eid after my exams are over Insha-Allah. Muneeba has been counting days for me to reach Lahore and she reminds me every day about the number of remaining days :-).
I don’t know why am I not feeling any tensed for the paper tomorrow :-(. It’s an open book exam which actually makes the exam even more difficult. You don’t study because its open book, but the questions OBVIOUSLY are not from the book. Besides its a marketing exam so I’m not really sure if studying or otherwise will make any difference :-P. Anyways, I need your prayers for my exams, and I guess I’d be off from the addictive world of blogging for about 10 days and be back from Lahore Insha-Allah, unless there is another paper for which I don’t feel like studying…
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Posted by Haris Gulzar on November 16, 2009
I have always believed that media plays a vital role in changing our beliefs and making us accept things that we wouldn’t have accepted on our own. We start making our minds and believing at what is portrayed to us, and we don’t try to find out what the reality actually is. I say this because recently I observed a very strong influence of media on a person from general public (That’s obviously my personal opinion).
I have been travelling a lot on public transport and this incident also has to do with one of my trips on a public bus. It was around 10 in the morning, and the bus was only half full. A child, maybe a maximum of 10 years of age came to me and asked me if he could make a call (He probably saw my mobile in my shirt pocket). I didn’t have credit so I told him it wont be possible to make a call. He asked the person sitting next to me, and he also refused.
The child turned back and started going towards his seat when the person sitting next to me asked him where he was heading to, to which he replied that he was going to his Madrasah. The child was wearing Qurta Shalwar, and was wearing a white cap with no hair on his head. I’m not sure what triggered the next couple of questions from this person sitting next to me, but maybe it was the Madrasah and the appearance of this child that made him a bit cautious. He asked the child what was there in his bag. I hadn’t even noticed the child’s bag before this person asked this question. It was a big bag, larger than a school bag, but it was shaped like a school bag. It was more of a back pack. The way the bag was placed on the seat made it look very heavy (I don’t know if it really was heavy or not). The boy replied he had stuff related to Madrasah in his bag.
This person then turned to me and asked why would a Madrasah require a child of this age to bring in such a heavy bag? I didn’t answer him, but the child probably heard this man, opened his bag and drew out a few of his clothes from the bag and put them back in, and without saying anything, sat on his seat. This person was definitely trying to make sure this child wasn’t carrying anything that he should not be carrying. The interrogative style of this person made me a bit uncomfortable. I don’t know if his behavior was justified or not, but have we become afraid of our own children? Is this really being careful when you ask a child who is maximum 10 years old, questions such as what do you have in your bag? Is this “war on terror” making us afraid of our own selves? That child is from amongst us, but then why is he targeted at and asked questions that I am not asked? Is it because he was going to a Madrasah? Is it because of his appearance?
I discussed this with a friend and his point of view was that the person was very right in critically asking questions from that child, because what we are going through requires us to be careful. But I ask, are we really going through what we are made to believe we are going through? I really don’t know and I leave it to you to decide if the way that person reacted was correct or not?
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Posted by Haris Gulzar on November 6, 2009
Since our childhood, we’ve needed someone to share our feelings with, to share our secrets with, to gossip with, to talk to, to just do anything we feel comfortable about doing and can’t do alone. For some people, that special person is their mother, for some it is their father, and for some it is their siblings. They would just come and share everything with their special person.
For children who just started going to school, they would come back home and say everything they faced to their special person, which mostly happens to be their mother, as she’s someone easily found at home. They would tell about what other students had for lunch, who they sat with in class today, what they studied in class etc. These are things these children really want out of them as soon as possible. They want someone to listen to them. They want someone to give them time. They want to be paid attention to. And this special person is the one who pays attention to them.
These children then grow older and make friends. Friends who not only sit together in class, but someone who they want to meet every day. Friends to enjoy their time with. To share things, the scope of which now has increased with time. The scope of their discussions now includes trusting each other with things only a few people know. They share their observations, their knowledge, and along with it, their secrets that they don’t want to stay only with themselves, but to be known by a few others as well. This is where the special person comes in for these grown ups. They find their psychological hideout in their special person.
A time comes when people share things with their parents as well as their friends. Their special person is not limited to one person, but a few of them. This is when the shift in special person is about to happen. You start sharing things more with your friends than with your parents. Its not that you don’t trust your parents anymore, but you naturally want to spend more time with your friends and want to share things with them. This I guess is natural. You spend more time away from home when you enter university, and the only time you spend at home is when you come for dinner and sleep.
But then, you experience things that you really want to share with people, but you don’t know who to share those things with. You have perfect and trust worthy friends who have been there for you whenever you have needed them to help you. You also have your parents who wait for you everyday to return from your university/work and they would most happily listen to what you have to say, but still you try finding someone else to share your feelings with. You have everyone to talk to, but still you feel as if you don’t have anyone to share things with. Your friends instantly feel that you’re not ok, and that there is something disturbing you, but you insist on being ok. Your parents try probing you about what’s wrong but you insist on everything being perfectly alright. What do you do in such a situation? Where do you find your psychological hideout in this case? Does it really happen at some point in time in your life?
Posted in English | Tagged: Life | 9 Comments »