Amar Bail

A plant of eternity

Impatience

Posted by Haris Gulzar on October 26, 2009

Since the start of this semester, I have had to travel through the public transport extensively. Four out of the six weekdays, I have a class at the other Campus of IBA for which I have to commute through the public buses. And then obviously I have to come back through the same mode of transport as well. This makes it eight trips a week, and at least six of these eight trips, I witness Impatience…

Our lives have become so busy and occupied that the tiniest of interruptions become so unbearable for us that we start using abusive words and even start folding our sleeves. Everyone seems so engaged with himself that he doesn’t even see if the other person that he’s talking to is an elderly person or a disabled person. Everyone is so confident to be right in whatever he is doing. Everyone is so assertive and convinced about his behavior and attitude that a small correction from someone pinches him hard. And above all, the social classes come in to action right when they shouldn’t. Money starts speaking right where it shouldn’t. Or is it me perceiving things this way?

I’d like to specifically point out to some of the incidents I witnessed myself. A student, seemed to be in his early twenties, climbed the bus and sat next to a very elderly person. While he was sitting, he mistakenly hit his elbow to the elderly who got irritated and asked him to be careful. The aged uncle definitely did not like it, although it wasn’t the fault of this young boy. But this young man, instead of apologizing because of being younger (that’s what I think he should have done), very rudely asked the elderly to mind his own business. The elderly complained of being hit by the elbow of this young man, and this student shouted back claiming to be innocent and asked the elderly to keep quiet, and started talking to himself (definitely negative about the aged uncle). Although he wasn’t at fault initially, but I’d say, he was not only at fault when he misbehaved later, but displayed ill manners and disrespect to the elderly.

Similarly, another student got himself scuffling with the conductor over student discount rates. The student probably didn’t show up the student card and when the conductor asked for the full conveyance charges, the student started using abusive words, something that have become an every day usage. To me it always seems that people are in search of a moment where they can get rid of their anger and throw it out on someone. Neither did the student that I just mentioned, nor did the conductor stop using abusive words, each of them feeling proud of hearing their families get ridiculed in public (sorry to have used these terms but that’s exactly what was happening out there :-(). Almost always there has to be a third party involvement to stop the fight. People seem so ready to fight with their hands if need be, although they are always equipped with all sorts of fighting words as well to give them a good start at the opponent😦.

Buses usually stop at some main stops for more than 5 minutes to get some passengers and to fill up the vacant seats before they start again on their journey. This definitely irritates the passengers who’ve been sitting in for long. There is a whole collection of abusive words you get to hear if the bus keeps on standing at a stop for more than three or four minutes. This is almost an every day routine, and everyone knows that their efforts (if this really is an effort) wont bring any success, but still, probably just to satisfy the inner-selves and to have a feeling that they got themselves lighter by abusing someone (the bus driver this time), people do it. People bang in at the door and at the windows, hoping for the bus to start moving somehow.

More often than not, money gets to speak as well, and at times loudly too. You get to hear the statement “Do you even know who I am?”, or “Do you know who you’re talking to?” very often. These are attempts, although to no avail (almost always) to put the opponent on back foot, but doesn’t it really show where you’re coming from? Doesn’t it show your “real” background. And above all, saying this to a person who everyone knows is a bus conductor, who earns his bread working all day in this heat running from the ladies compartment to the gents compartment and vice versa, collecting travel fare tickets, doesn’t this statement just say everything about “who you are” and “who we’re talking to”.

What really has become of us? Why have we become so impatient. Or have we?

22 Responses to “Impatience”

  1. N.A. said

    I myself have to witness all these things almost on a regular basis and I always alight the bus with these unanswered questions!

  2. […] This cup of tea was served by: Amar Bail […]

  3. razaidi said

    Quite right bro. This odd behavior is a norm in every bus around the city. But you cant totally put the blame the blame on the passengers you know. I mean look at the pathetic conditions they are traveling in. Even livestock are transported in a much better way around the city. These minibus-walas care the least for the passengers safety and comfort. Buses are delayed deliberately to accumulate more crowd. The conductors press through the jam packed crowd to get the fares. No tickets are issued and people are asked again and again for the bus fare. When there’s not enough space to breathe inside they start dumping people on the roof and some are even clinging to the sides with one hand.

    Think for a moment that with so much heat, air and noise pollution in the city what sort of behavior is expected of the poor citizens? No wonder they react this way!

  4. Daud Ahmad said

    Its got nothing to do with the public transport or the condition of buses (which is pretty bad no doubt). You should see the ‘impatience’ of the people on cars. The bigger the car, more impatient they get.
    I travel on daewoo every week these days. No one knows how to make a line. Ppl routinely scuffle each other to get the tickets. Even though they’re travelling on the SAME bus leaving at the same time. What difference would it make if they get the ticket one or twe minutes sooner?

  5. Samah said

    You’re very right about the impatience thing. Its witnessed not only in buses but everywhere. Impatience has become a way of life.

    @Razaidi: You might be right bro. But have you noticed that people driving a Liana or Corolla swears in exactly the same way as those traveling in mini-buses!:)

    These are everyday challenges to man where they have to show patience. They have to show that they can endure gracefully, specially the youth. There should be no excuse to using abusive words or misbehaving with elders, no matter what the situation is. After all, they are not alone in suffering from the problems of this city. And am sure being impatient doesn’t help one bit in improving the situation, does it?:)

  6. Samah said

    Daud Ahmad: Oh yes, I was making the same point! The bigger the car, more impatient they get. Sadly, that happens!

  7. brocasarea said

    hmm…true!…
    people think using abusive lang is cool!

    here too people come claiming to a vip,some secretary etc and demand special treatment from us!…

  8. soban said

    Nice post Harris🙂

  9. @N.A: And these are just a few examples only from the public transport😦

    @Razaidi: First of all, I totally disagree that our behavior should be dependent on the situation. It is, but it shouldn’t be. A bus being crowded doesnt justify your rude behavior, neither does the poor condition of the buses allow you to misbehave with the elderly. Why would your expectations about someone’s behavior change with the level of heat and air pollution😦. My point is, you’re right that it does affect, but actually it shouldn’t. Thats what we have to learn. Thats where we have to correct ourselves. Ohh and Welcome to Amar Bail. I hope you continue reading and commenting on my blog. Thanx for visiting.

    @Daud: I agree. As I said, these are only few examples, that too only from the public buses… The impatience is all around us.

    @Samah: Sad but yeah it has become a way of life. And people in Corolla and Liana DO NOT sweat in the same way🙂, they have air conditioners in their cars :-P…

    And thats exactly what the point of this post was. These are everyday challenges for us where we should learn to be patient and behave like civilized people…

    @Brocasarea: Abusive lang is more common in youth which is even sadder😦

    @Soban: Thank you and Welcome to Amar Bail. And it irritates me when someone spells my name with two r’s😛. Thank you for coming Soban.

  10. Hmmm… post is as realistic as the daily scenes are… mini buses and thier heavy crowd, pathetic environment, burden on passengers, unfair fare collection by condctrs, shouting and jumping in and out…. that all converts a sane into insane…

    ofcource one should not lose temper to the extent to yell someone elder but otherwise frustration does make one forget all manners….

    problems at both end…

    Overall nicely written 🙂

  11. Jafar said

    بہت دن کے بعد آپ کے درشن کرنے آیا ہوں
    کچھ غم روزگار تھا اور کچھ غم جاناں
    بہرحال آپ کی سلیس انگریزی کے ہم پہے بھی قدردان تھے اب بھی ہیں
    لمبی بحث ہے جی یہ، پر میرے خیال میں
    ناانصافی، ظلم کو جنم دیتی ہے اور ظلم ، بے چینی اور انتشار کو

  12. @Captureuniverse: I disagree. Although the conditions you also mentioned do ignite anger and frustrate people, but sanity, as I’d define it, is to have control over yourself, or at least try to have it. The bad conditions can not justify throwing anger on people elder than you. And besides, these conditions are for everyone, so instead of loosing temper, why dont people just realize that there is problem at both ends so they should remain calm…

    @Jafar: جناب خوش امدید۔ بہت عرصے بعد تشریف لائے آپ۔ خوشی ہوئی۔ غمِ روزگار تو سب کو ہی ہے، یہ غمِ جاناں ذرا تشویشناک ہے۔۔۔
    میں آپکی بات سے اکتفا کرتا ہوں، مگر یہ نا انصافی شروع کہاں سے ہوتی ہے۔ اسکا ذمہ دار کون ہے؟ ہم کیوں ہمیشہ سمجھتے ہیں کہ زیادتی ہمارے ساتھ ہی ہو رہی ہے۔ ہم کیوں دوسروں سے زیادتی کرتے ہیں اور اسے اپنا حق سمجھتے ہیں؟

  13. Ayesha said

    There is zero civic sense in our people! Period.

  14. @Ayesha: Sad but true!

  15. razaidi said

    @Samah @Haris

    Its easy to say these things when you’re sitting at home and typing from a comfortable seat in an airconditioned room. But the harsh truth is that our people suffer so much everyday that patience gradually goes away. I have seen many literate people with suits and ties acting in literally the same way as you have mentioned. The only reason being the environment. I can bet that these same individuals would never resort to such behavior if they are given the right facility. Our behavior is a function of the environment. It is sometimes a matter of choice but when the frustration goes beyond our control it shoots up our temper and we switch over to our wild side of life!

  16. @Haris…

    I am not saying to throw your anger on elder whilst i am talking about other reasons that make one frustrated…
    it’s very true to be respectful to elders even you are passing through worst, one should never lose control, infact self control and there is a point where the grooming and values matter….

    chao and peace 🙂

  17. @Razaidi: I did type this while sitting in my room, but I havent been given an AC here😦. Jokes apart, dude this post came out from my personal experience that I got by travelling on public transport almost daily. I totally agree that the condition of our public transport is bad, but my point here was, should our behavior and attitude be dependent on this environment. The environment does influence our behavor but should it? Why don’t we have control over ourselves? Why do we let the environment dictate us our behavior and how we treat our elders?

    @CU: I agree that there are several reasons that makes a person frustrated enough to throw his anger even at elders, but thats where we need to have control don’t you think?🙂. I mean why would the environment influence you to misbehave with your elders?

    I appreciate all of you and respect your comments🙂. I hope you do keep on visiting my blog and comment on it regularly. Thank you so very much.

  18. zain said

    haris bhai!this is the problem of every student, as i think, the problem starts with our educational system, it is failed to teach us how to live a life like a human, it is just preparing us to earn money or for white collar jobs. so the result is in front of us. if a student is polite and he is practical about moral values then may be it is the result of his home training or anything else but it cant be his institute that made him sensitive about life and its demands.

  19. Hmm.. the only thing we are interested in is…US.. who cares about others? who cares about what they are going through..the world revolves around me and so it should… and thus everyone who gets in the way would have to hear some not-so-good words from me…
    we all need to vent-out our anger.. but that doesn’t mean it has to go out like this.. there are other ways.. talk to your friends, your closed ones about your problems instead of getting angry on every other person..

  20. @Intricate: I agree. As I said, getting angry at times is natural, but having control over ourselves is what we need, we shouldn’t let the situation dictate to us how we behave with people around us…

  21. MB said

    Man i can understand you feelings but rest assure one day they will pay good !!

    Actually the public transport system in KHI and PAK is so pathetic (thanks to all succcessive gov’s) that one gets tired and frustated during journey. The situation was bearable in 90s even, as i recall since i used to enjoy roaming here and there in public transport then.

    The gov’s in PAK have find it easy to throw burden on private sector in each and every section of services i.e education, health and in this case transport. I have been a frequent visitor at AKUH and believe me i can really feel the PRESSURE that one single private hospital is bearing for 15 million karachiites.

    The people at the helm of power have never traveled (except i think MUSTAFA KAMAL) by a bus in their lives and being upper class they are not only oblivious of the common man, more ironically they are least interested in resolving the common man’s problems.

    Its easier for them to start GREEN BLUE and all those fancy initiatives but will never bother to correct the existing system. Similarly they have given BANKs a free hand which are giving loans for cars and this way the gov is dragging people from usage of PUBLIC transport to PRIVATE one, so basically stealing an eye from their responsibility.

    Same is the case in education and health. All successive gov’s have gone completely nuts and no one is even objecting. They have let the private schools and colleges and universities rob the common man in a way that is highly deplorable. And this they did to transfer the burden of their responsibility of education.

    Lord help us!!

  22. jia arshad said

    well…. vry true…these examples r of transpot but aside 4rm dat baki jagah bhi yehi kuch ho raha hai ….n agr hum boray halaat say guzar rahay hain ya mushkilaat ka samna kar rahay hain to iska matlb ye nai k hamin dosron se mis behave krna shoro krdain….isi cheez ko dhaiktay howay aur inhi halaat ko madd e nazar rakhtay howay islam main sabar ki itni talkeeen ki gai hai ….aur agr hamain mushkil wakt main ya jo bhi paraishani hai us ma bhi aisa krnay ki ijazat hoti to ALLAH mushkil halaat ko azmaish ka naam na daetay aur na hi sabar krnay ko kehtay…..i knw sumtimes its vry hard to control ourselves under sum cicumstance bt again “{nothing is impossible” n where there is a will there is a way so atleast we cn try to b patient n 1 mre thing such ppl shud think dis b4 reacting like dat dat they r reflecting thier background through thier behaviour!

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