Amar Bail

A plant of eternity

He left us all alone

Posted by Haris Gulzar on October 16, 2009

My grandfather died. He left us all alone. I never thought this would be the first thing I’d write about after my exams. I couldn’t even see him for the last time :-(. The last time I saw him was when I had to leave for Karachi for the start of my semester. He was at the hospital waiting for his hip bone operation to start. I never imagined those would be the last visuals of him that I’d get.

He was over 90 Masha-Allah, but offered all prayers at mosque, or at least preferred offering all prayers at mosque, even if he wasn’t well. Even at this age, he walked quiet a lot. He would grab the hand of one of my cousins (he lived with my chacha) and would take him along for a long walk. Or if he wanted to go out for sometime, or if he felt exhausted sitting at home all the time, he would go and sit in the car indicating that he wants someone to come along and drive him somewhere. He kept himself fit. He decided about his diet and the times at which he’d eat. If he had a heavy breakfast, he would either not have lunch at all, or delay it. If he had something in the evening, he wouldn’t have dinner.

He loved Ice-creams. In fact, being more general, he loved sweets. The routine drives at around mid day almost always meant a cup for ice-cream. I also got a chance to take him for an ice-cream drive a couple of times when I was at my chacha’s place. It felt great when, probably for making sure I won’t leave him alone, he would hold my left hand that I used for changing gears. He would know it when we reached outside the shop where we bought ice-cream for him from. He would let go of your hand so that you can go and bring ice-cream for him. And while driving, if you try leaving his hand, he would hold it even more tightly, telling you he wont let you get away :-).

For the last couple of years, probably because of weakness or because of the age factor, he couldn’t speak. A couple of words that he spoke often were “Neeyat”, indicating that it was time for prayers, and “Nahin”, when he wanted to say no to something. Otherwise he would only nod his head. This summers when I was in Lahore, I once went to my chacha’s place where I loudly said Salam (in a specific way that was assumed to be the code between dada abba and me), and amazingly, dada abba replied in his same specific code tone saying WalaikumusSalam, although he said it in split words. Everyone was amazed at seeing him reply and trying to speak. I asked him “ki haal hai ji” (how are you) and he replied, again in broken words, “Alhamdulillah” (meaning I’m fine with the grace of Allah). This then became the talk of the day. Dada abba talked to Haris. I felt special :-). I asked him if he’d come to my place for a couple of days, but he didn’t say anything after that.

The Salam code that I had between dada abba and me was something very special. Since my childhood, I heard him say Salam in a very specific way. He would stretch a few syllables and would say others in a normal way, making the complete word Assalamualaikum a bit difficult to pronounce. Everyone would try answering him with WalaikumusSalam in that very tone and stretching of syllables etc. That’s when I also learned answering his specific Salam. I gained perfection at it, and then it used to be me and dada abba. Although my brother also used to reply with quiet perfection, but bhayya, if you’re reading, I can bet I was better :-). After dada abba found it increasingly difficult to speak, I would say Salam in that specific code, and he would smile.

Although not lately, but about 4 or 5 years back, dada abba used to give out Kharchi (pocket money) to all his grandchildren. He would actually give it to one person (the youngest of siblings) and that person would then distribute it amongst other of his siblings. Being the youngest of my siblings, I used to get the kharchi from him. We would anxiously wait for the start of the month, the time when we got our pockets refilled. As soon as it was the day, we would go to him thinking we’d remind him and ask him why he forgot our kharchi, but every time we asked him, he took out the exact amount of money and handed it over to us. He always remembered it before us and had the exact amount of change as well, so that it was always convenient for us.

I can’t forget my dadi’s voice when she talked to me after my dada died. I felt so alone. The worst part of living in a hostel and away from your family is that you are not near your near ones. I could only ask my family about the time of Janazah and the mosque where the janazah was offered, and the grave yard where he was laid to rest :-(. May Allah grant him the highest of places in Jannat. May Allah forgive him. May Allah be pleased with him. Ameen.

As one of my friends mentioned, we all have to return to our creator, its just a matter of time. May Allah guide us all to sirat-e-mustaqeem. May Allah give us the taufeeq to serve our parents and grandparents. Ameen. I’d request you all to please remember my dada in your prayers. Jazakallah!


20 Responses to “He left us all alone”

  1. Kamran Saeed said

    Very sorry to hear about your grandfather. May Allah give him a place in heaven and give you and your family the patience to deal with this huge loss.

  2. […] This cup of tea was served by: Amar Bail […]

  3. Assalamoalaikum

    Inna Lillahi Wa Inna ilaihi Rajaoon,
    May Allah forgive his sins and grant Him a place in jannat Al firdous,a meen.

    It was so nice to read about him, a could feel the warmth and peace oozng from the post in his memory…

    May Allah give all the household the patience to deal with his loss.. and as you said, we all have to go there one day soon…

    Can i ask you something? Why did he hold your hand? Could he not see?

    May Allah give you all peace and comfort in your existing relations, ameen..

  4. Raaji said

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I pray and hope that God give you the courage to deal with it.

  5. @Kamran: Ameen.

    @Alhamdolillah: Jazakallah for your prayers and wishes sister. He could see but not very well. Actually he fell a couple of times in his room and once while going to the mosque (thats when he broke his hip bone), so he didn’t prefer going alone anywhere, and we also preferred that at least one person stay with him all day if he wishes to go out for a walk or to take him to the mosque.

    @Raaji: Ameen

  6. zain said

    so sad to hear. may Allah grant him the peace. we can do nothing for him now but pray for his maghfrat. may his soul rest in heaven. ameen

  7. nadia said

    Inna Lillahi Wa Inna ilaihi Rajaoon. May Allah forgive his sins and grant him a place in jannat al firdous. Ameen

  8. Huda said

    Inna Lillahi Wa Inna ilaihi Rajaoon. May his soul Rest in Peace. Lots and lots of prayers for him.

    Good to see you back. How were the exams?

  9. @Zain, Nadia, Huda: Ameen

    @Huda: Exams were ok.

  10. H said

    Inna Lillahi Wa Inna ilaihi Rajaoon. Ameen to your duas and additional prayers for him. The bond you describe with him is kinda like the one I have with my nani :). I love grandparents 🙂

  11. masood said

    Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilaihi Raajeeoon. May Allah grant him Jannath..Aameen. I started missing my Abbu and Dada after reading your post. Your Dada is very sweet as my Dada too. The only thing we can do is Dua for them to have a peace in grave and glad tidings of Jannah. InshaAllah, our Dada’s in our prayers.

  12. @H: May Allah give strength to the bond you have with your grandparents. May Allah give your grandparents long life. Ameen. And welcome to Amar Bail.

    @Masood: Ameen to your prayers. Insha-Allah, our dada’s will always remain in our prayers. Jazakallah for your comment.

  13. Samah said

    Very sorry to hear about this. Its indeed a great loss which cannot be replaced by anything in the world. May Allah grant him Jannah ameen.. and sabr to you and your family. You were lucky to spend some time with your Dada jee and have good memories.. I had never seen mine. He passed away in an accident before I was born.

  14. Oh……Allah may rest his soul in peace… Ameen
    it’s definatly a great loss which can’t be subsituted anyway…but Allah pak knows best and we all have to return one day…. We should keep our faith alive and always ask Allah for Sirat e mustaqim anad his blessings upon us…Allah may do maghfirat of your Dada Abba…Ameen

  15. @Samah: Jazakallah for your wishes and Ameen to your prayers. Yeah I was very lucky indeed to have spent many memorable moments with Dada abba.

    @Captureuniverse: True! We all have to return to HIM one day. May Allah give us the taufeeq to prepare for the eternal life. Jazakallah for your duas.

  16. Ayesha said

    Sorry to hear about your dada ji. May Allah grant him the highest of places in Jannah.

    That was such a nice remembrance.

  17. @Ayesha: Ameen and Jazakallah for your dua.

  18. Asad Ali said

    Ina Lillah e Illahe Rajioon…
    May Allah Bless his soul..& grant him special place in Jannah…

    I can feel your pain …as comabting with mine nowadays…May Allah Almighty give you & your family…patience to bear this loss.Amin

  19. @Asad: Ameen, and Jazakallah for your prayers and wishes. May Allah SWT give highest of places in Jannah to your grandfather Insha-Allah. Ameen

  20. jia arshad said

    may ALLAH bless nanajan wid great place in jannat n listen to our prayers which r onli 4 him…..

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