Busy was I
Posted by Haris Gulzar on August 24, 2009
I missed my blog. I missed all the blogs that I regularly read. I missed surfing and wasting time over the internet. I missed chatting with friends. I missed checking my emails. I missed my laptop. I think I wrote my last post on the 11th of this month. I remember thinking about writing a post on Independence day of Pakistan but didn’t get time for that. I dint get time for anything. I think I was busy, or was I?
Sometimes you’re busy and don’t get time to do tasks that you usually do. Sometimes this busyness is physical and sometimes it is mental. Talking about myself, in these past days that I have been out of touch from my blog, sometimes I was way too busy to even think about writing something, and sometimes I had ample time to write even 2 posts. But I was still busy. Sometimes I was busy physically, and sometimes I was busy mentally. It was a mix of everything.
I had lots and lots of topics to write about. Things I observed, things I thought needed some attention, things I have been going through etc. I so wanted to write at least something, even if not what I felt or what I wanted to say, but just anything, but again, I was probably busy. Many a times I started thinking about the title and the contents of my post, the way I’d go about structuring my sentences and the words I’d use to express myself, but I’d end up without time to write whatever there was in my mind.
Sometimes it happens that you write because you don’t have anything else to do. That’s when you don’t actually want to write, but you do. Sometimes you really really want to write, maybe just to let out your feelings and emotions, but you don’t. Sometimes you have so much to say, so much to tell, so much to share and get comments and feedback about, but you can’t.
Sometimes totally the opposite happens. You have all the time in this world to come up with whatever you want to write, to structure it, to recheck it and what not, but you aren’t the mood to write. That’s when you aren’t actually busy, but you still are busy. You’re busy mentally. Something inside your mind causes enough tension and burden on you that even after wanting to write, you can’t write.
And frankly speaking, I have no idea whatsoever about whatever I’ve written so far. Today I’m writing because I so want to write. I so want to express myself, though I don’t think I’m expressing myself, but at least I’m writing. Today I just don’t care if I’m physically busy or mentally busy, or both or none, I just want to write. I want to update my blog. I want to give time to other blogs that I read. I want to spend time with my laptop. I want to waste time over the internet…