Amar Bail

A plant of eternity

My Best Friend

Posted by Haris Gulzar on July 10, 2009

We’ve been writing essays since we were young. That was when we used to write for the sake of it. We wrote because we were told to write. The teacher usually announced to the class to start writing an essay, and everyone would just start writing, without thinking what should actually be written. Whatever we wrote never came from within us. We never knew the meaning of a single word that we wrote ourselves back then. Essays like “A visit to a hill station”, “A rainy day” and the favorite of many of us, “My Best Friend” were the most commonly written essays.

We never knew what the word “friend” meant. A friend for us was someone whom we used to see every day, without realizing how life would be if we didn’t see a friend for even one day. A friend was someone we used to sit in class with, without realizing what it means to be with someone you feel comfortable with. A friend used to be someone we shared our lunch with, without realizing that sharing things with friends can give the best feeling ever. A friend was someone we waved back to while leaving school, where waving back only meant for a maximum of a day. A friend was someone who invited us on to his birthday party; in fact the number of our friends was somewhat directly proportional to the class fellows who invited us on to their birthday parties, but we never realized what emotions can there be behind one single invitation. Back then, we never knew if a friend could be someone we’d want to be with when we’d be all alone in a crowd of a thousand people. We never knew if a friend could be someone we’d share all our problems with, and would love to listen to and try solving all the problems that friend has. We never knew if we could trust a friend with whatever goes on in our lives, if we could care for that person and get care in return. This six character word just didn’t have any meaning back then, but words change meanings don’t they…

Actually, words don’t change meanings. We start giving meanings to words. We define them the way we want to. There was a time when I searched for words that could complete my definition of the word “Friend”, but as if there wasn’t any word that could properly define this word the way I wanted to. That’s when I realized, that a friend is just a friend, and that there are words that do not need help of other words for their definition. I found out that this word doesn’t need any supporting words, that you know it inside you who is your friend and who is not, and that your words lose meaning if you forcefully try giving meaning to your words.

For me, my best friend is only my best friend. I don’t need to satisfy myself and remind myself saying that I trust my best friend, or that I care for my best friend, or that I share everything with my best friend… I just know it inside me that I have a best friend, and this feeling is enough for me to stop analyzing people on the criteria of how others define best friends. I now have my own definition of my best friend, and that definition has no words…


10 Responses to “My Best Friend”

  1. […] This cup of tea was served by: Amar Bail […]

  2. nadia said

    This is one of the most beautiful essays on a best friend 🙂

  3. @Nadia: Thank you 🙂

  4. Bina Khan said

    Nice post. 🙂
    You are right.. we have our own definitions of a friend and our own ideas of what a best friend is supposed to be like.. we keep making amendments to our definitions but the point is we don’t need others to agree with us on them 🙂

  5. @Bina Khan: Exactly, it is for us to define what we think a best friend for us is, neither do we need others to agree with us on them, nor do we need others to define what our best friends should be like…
    Thank you for your comment 🙂

  6. saman said

    well its very true that we shape the meanings of words according to our desires and understaanding. . and yes, the word Best Friend is so complete in its sense and meaning that there aint ne need to support it with complex adjectives 🙂

    keep up the good work

  7. @Saman: Exactly, a friend knows the definition within him… Thank you for your comment. Do keep coming.

  8. Komal Ali said

    That’s perhaps the most beautiful “best friend” essay, I’ve ever read (:

  9. @Komal: Thank you so very much.

  10. Yasser said

    yah best friend is only best friend. We usually expect a lot and end-up having no best friend:)

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