Amar Bail

A plant of eternity

Archive for March, 2009

کچھ لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

Posted by Haris Gulzar on March 17, 2009

The following is copied from here

کچھ  لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

سوچتا  ہوں ، کیا  لکھوں ؟


پھولوں  کی وہ  مہکتی  خوشبو

بارش  کا وہ  بھیگا  پانی

اور  ہوا میں تھی جو روانی

کیا  اس موسم کا خمار لکھوں ؟


کچھ  لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

سوچتا  ہوں ، کیا  لکھوں ؟


تھی  چہرے  پہ اُن کے معصومیت

آنکھوں  میں تھی  تھوڑی  شرارت

اور  باتوں میں  وہ  نزاکت

کیا  ان کا رنگیں مزاج  لکھوں ؟


کچھ  لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

سوچتا  ہوں ، کیا  لکھوں ؟


انکا  آ کر  مسکرانا ۔ ۔ ۔

جو  روٹھ  جاوْں  تو منانا

جاتے  جاتے  پھر رلانا

کیا  انکا  یہ  انداز  لکھوں ؟


کچھ  لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

سوچتا  ہوں ، کیا  لکھوں ؟


یادوں  میں ان کی اشک بہانا

ہر  شام اک  دیا جلانا

سو ئی  امید کو روز جگانا

کیا  ان کا یہ انتظار لکھوں ؟


کچھ  لکھنا چاہتا ہوں ۔ ۔ ۔

سوچتا  ہوں ، کیا لکھوں ؟


Posted in Adopted, Urdu | 2 Comments »

Food for thought!

Posted by Haris Gulzar on March 11, 2009

A few days back, I was sitting with a friend discussing life, how it treats us, how we should treat life, how our different decisions have an impact on our lives etc, when suddenly that friend of mine asked a few questions from me. These questions, I think, really need some thinking, although they seem to be very simple.

Are relations important? Is it important to express their importance?

They definitely are, but the question really is, how often do we think that they’re important? How often do we think what our life would have been if we weren’t blessed with relations? How often do we think about giving importance to our relations, respecting them, caring for them? How often do we express that we care, that we love, that we respect? Is expressing our feelings about relations even important? How important is it to give respect to our teachers who really deserve respect? How important is it to admit the roles they have played in building our lives and careers? How important is it to tell our friends how our lives would have been if we didn’t have their company? How important is it to sit with your parents and to massage their feet? How important is it to tell them how badly you miss them if you’re away? How important is it to come home early from office one day and take your spouse out for dinner? How important is it to sit with your children and help them do their homework, and take them to the zoo or children’s park, telling them that you care? 

Is loneliness important? Why or why not?

That friend of mine asked me this question in Urdu, and the word he used for loneliness was “tanhayi”. I’m not sure if loneliness correctly expresses the meaning that the word “tanhayi” does, but anyways, you get the point. So, how important is loneliness for a person, if it is important at all?

In our “busy” lives, we don’t get much time to ponder over things we should have done instead of the things we did. We don’t get time to recall our actions that might have hurt someone, time to think about what is missing from our lives, time to think if our lives are really “busy”? Loneliness gives us the opportunity to spend some time with ourselves, and that’s probably the only time we can be ourselves. I would rather say, the only thing missing from our lives is loneliness, and probably the only way to appreciate the importance of loneliness is to have some time alone. As some poet said: 

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments (complete poem here

What is ego?

This is probably the most difficult questions amongst those mentioned here. We all know what ego is, but yet it is very difficult for us to define what exactly it means. Is it only a feeling? Is it a feature one can have? Is it something one can possess? Is it good or bad? Where does ego come from? Do we inherit it, or do we build it in ourselves on our own? Ego can have very different meanings for each one of us. Some of us rank ego as the most important thing (if it really is some THING) in their lives, some of us even go to the extent of breaking relations (and hence not realizing the importance of relations) just because of their ego. The question “What is EGO?” is probably the only question that requires lots of thinking. 

What is the purpose of life? When can one consider his life as complete?

These are too abstract questions aren’t they? We probably have the answers to these questions but don’t know how to put the answer in words. Well, being a Muslim, the first answer to this question that comes in my mind is, the purpose of life is to worship Allah. But is that it? I mean don’t I have any other obligations? Am I not liable for many other things, such as trying my best to find the means to feed my family and provide them with a good living? Again, being a Muslim I have a strong believe that Allah SWT is the one who has the power to give me a good living, and I cannot do it on my own, but will I get everything without even striving for it? Does worshipping Allah mean to cut from everyone? I guess not. This life demands more from us. But what is it that life demands? Does it really demand something extra? I’m not sure really. Following is a quotation that I think I read somewhere, or probably heard someone say:

The purpose of life can be defined by the following

1)      Your creator should be happy from you

2)      Your parents, relatives, friends, acquaintances, in short, your social circle should be happy from you

3)      You should be happy from yourself 

Is logical reasoning always applicable?

As I see the question, it asks if what our mind says is always what we do or what we should do. No, certainly not. There are times when our heart supersedes the logical reasoning. We want things to work the way we want, not because of a certain reason, but just because we want them to work that way. In fact, would life be interesting at all if everything worked on logical reasoning?

There were a couple of more questions that I was asked, but I can’t exactly recall them. These were probably simple questions, but for me, they were food for thought. For me, these simple questions gave rise to a lot of more questions like, when is our heart not in synchronization with our mind, what are those situations that can force us to change the priorities of our relations over ourselves, how important is each relation to us. These questions probably ask for some time with one’s self, some time alone…

Posted in English | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

It doesn’t Interest Me

Posted by Haris Gulzar on March 9, 2009

I copied the following post from here. Found it really good, hence posting it on my blog as well.


It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Poet- Really no idea but its not mine. Jott it down long time ago.


Posted in Adopted, English | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

A tiring day!

Posted by Haris Gulzar on March 3, 2009

Many of my hostel activities such as washing clothes, cleaning the room etc are scheduled for Tuesdays and/or Fridays, as I only have one class on these days. Today, Tuesday the 3rd of March 2009, was not to be any different. But it was Monday night that I found out from a fellow hostelite that both the washing machines were out of order. I was almost out of clothes as the last time I washed my clothes was the 10-day-back Friday. I couldn’t afford not to wash my clothes today. Although Monday evening set me back a bit when I came to know about the washing machines being out of order, but it wasn’t to turn out that bad today, as one of the Administration members told me that one of the machine was “somewhat working”. This “Somewhat working” term also needs a bit of explanation. The working machine’s drainage system was malfunctioning, and the admin people had put a steel wire inside the machine, replacing the knob that switches between the drainage and the two-way or one-way washing programs, pulling which, you could get the water drained. And by the way, just pulling the steel wire, holding which was an art in itself, was not as easy it seemed, it required a separate scientific knowledge.

I had a good lunch, a one dish Murgh Chanay buffet lunch that I ate up to my capabilities :), probably because I had a slight idea of what was coming. Soon after having lunch, I took the bucket that contained the to-be-washed clothes, grabbed the washing powder and went straight to the laundry area. Washing wasn’t much of a problem because I was mentally prepared for that steel wire pulling mechanism. The dryer, out of the blue and against all odds, and amazing me to the extent it could have, was working perfectly fine. It usually took four or five attempts to start the dryer, but it worked like a charm today. This was some relief, because I have also seen times when I had to manually dry up my clothes because restarting the dryer over and over again, hoping for it to work, took more time than I could manually do the rinsing and drying. Tuesdays and Fridays prove even better for washing purposes because there isn’t much rush for either the washing machine or for the empty ropes on the hostel terrace. The ropes were vacant when I went to the terrace to scatter my clothes. It was a windy and a hot afternoon. The temperature was about 30 degree Celsius, and the wind was blowing at about 21KM/h (According to google weather :P), a good sign for those who just did their washing, for the clothes won’t take long to dry up completely. Soon after I started scattering my clothes, I realized that I was short of clips to hold the clothes on the rope. In fact, I was not short of clips, the clothes were far more than there usually used to be (as I mentioned earlier, I washed my clothes after almost 10 days instead of 7 days :P). I didn’t have any other option but to take the risk of hanging the clothes without the clip in such windy weather.

It was almost 1615HRS, when I returned to my room to start with the room cleaning stuff. I usually do not take the pains of cleaning my room from beneath the bed and from behind my study table, but I don’t know what forced me to move the study table out of its place, move the bed to the other end of the room, and start cleaning from these rarely considered corners as well. It took me at least another 10 minutes in doing so. This dry cleaning was not the end of it, I wet cleaned my room as well (yani ke pocha bhi lagaya, whatever it is called in English :P), and that too twice, to make sure the newly discovered rarely-touched corners don’t get to complain at least in near future. Getting done with room cleaning almost always brings good feelings as the shining tiles give a good look to the room. I was exhausted, totally dehydrated. I washed my hands and drank lots and lots of water, thinking this was the end of the tiring chores, but as if it really mattered what I thought.

A maximum of five minutes would have passed after the water I drank helped me recover from my exhaustion, that Umar (a fellow hostelite) sent me an sms saying “Check if your clothes have fallen off rope, there are some clothes lying there”. Who else could be this unlucky, it had to be me, it was supposed to be me, and it was me :(. A couple of vests and a shirt were lying down. These pieces of clothes now make the contents of the bucket that contains my to-be-washed clothes.

My room is still messed up a lot with books and my lecture notes scattered throughout my room, with a load of other small stuff that destroy all the shiny look of my room, and it’ll probably take another couple of hours to put everything back to its place, it will probably be the coming Friday :(.

Posted in English | Tagged: , | 5 Comments »

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

Posted by Haris Gulzar on March 1, 2009

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things–your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions –and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.”

“The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.”

“The sand is everything else–the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.”

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first–the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.” 

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.”

“It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Posted in Adopted, English | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »